After three nights of waking up at 3am or earlier, Jackson slept from 9pm to 7am this morning. That’s truly beautiful. No middle of the night arm-scratching for Jason, no flipping and flopping out on the couch with mom listening to his favorite Chris Tomlin music set for the tenth time. But still…we’ve come a long way.
A year ago, Jackson would not go to bed willingly, Jason or I would have to physically hold him in bed, singing to him until he would finally give up. If we were exhausted by this or not wanting to leave our company hanging for the next hour or two, Jackson would be allowed to sit on the couch until he finally drifted off (between 10 and 11pm). This haphazard sleep schedule almost always included a middle of the night awakening with Jackson climbing into our bed, humming, producing loud echolalia (meaningless repetitions of memorized speech) from Nemo, and settling down to scratch Jason’s arm for at least an hour before MAYBE he would finally drift off to sleep for another hour or two. This was killing us especially when our three year old was waking us more than our newborn.
What has changed?
We tried shortening nap time and then removing it all together (extremely difficult when he’s only slept for a few hours at night). I started giving him two baths a day one to get him clean, and the other just to keep him awake. This helped a little, but not much.
We tried moving him to his own toddler bed, but he would not calm down in this and usually ended up crawling in between his sisters turned longways on their full sized matress. They are okay with this arrangment (as long as Jackson doesn’t get too active at night), so we’ve stuck with this.
A local Neuralogist who specializes in children’s sleep disorders (many of his patients have autism) recommends finding your child’s optimal sleep time. Trying to force a child to go to bed at 8pm when he doesn’t naturally fall asleep until 10pm makes the whole bedtime thing either a battle or eternally long. When I heard that, I thought. What?!? Let my child just fall asleep whenever he pleases? These are the only hours my husband and I have together most days, and some nights I want to be in my own bed by 10pm! “But wait,” he said, “I’m not finished!” He went on to explain how we can gradually shift his bedtime earlier. Establish a clear bedtime routine before the natural sleep time (10 or 11pm). Give melatonin (1 mg or less, depending on your child’s age) 30 minutes (no earlier, or it’s wasted) before his natural sleep time, then move the whole routine (and Melatonin) back by ten minutes every 3-5 days.
For a child who likes to sleep in or take long afternoon naps, wake him up earlier, drastically shorten or remove naps. For middle of the night wakings, give melatonin and return to bed. He also said that routine is so helpful in establishing healthy sleep patterns, and no screen (tv or computer) time an hour before sleeptime is essential for gearing the brain for sleep. He presented some pretty amazing evidence for removing tonsils in some children with sleep issues, as well as the major positive difference good sleep can make in daytime behaviors for children with autism, ADD, ADHD, and other neurological disorders. He showed us results of studies that say establishing good sleep habits can lead to improved concentration, grades, and social interactions.
Here’s our nightly routine:
Jackson’s bedtime routine starts about 7pm with bathtime (very stimulating at first, then relaxing by the end), jammies, a little 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed action to wear him down if he’s still too energetic, teeth brushing, then maybe he’ll sit for book read by Mommy to little brother Sam. Finally Daddy makes the official bedtime call. All the lights in the house go off except for the bedroom. He will now (most nights willingly) make the journey back to the only lighted bedroom with sisters and Daddy for the nightly Daddy Created Story accompanied by his favorite falling-asleep music playing softly in the background. Many nights he’ll grab a half-deflated excercise ball to roll around on in bed until he konks out between his sisters, usually before the story is over.
Now when he wakes up at an ungodly hour, in the foggy haze of half-awake, I try to remember to give a little melatonin (1mg) on a spoon with his favorite all-fruit strawberry jelly. After 20-30 minutes of him wiggling, singing, talking in “Jackson mumbojumbo,” and repeated attempts at rising, with Chris Tomlin softly crooning and Jackson firmly sandwiched between me and the back of the couch, he usually succombs to sweet slumber.
I’d like to start immediately taking him back to his bed and following the above “Back-to-sleep” routine, but since he’s sandwiched between his sisters, I haven’t wanted to wake them or squish myself in there somehow…But I think that might be an even better habit to establish: sleeping time, means in your own bed, the whole night through.
We still cycle through good sleeping weeks and bad sleeping weeks. As we’re trying to unearth any physiological issues Jackson may be dealing with, I’m trying to track his sleep schedule in case it might shed light on any issues. Phew! All this talk of sleep, and it’s almost midnight. I need to develope some healthy sleep habits of my own. Goodnight, All!