For Jack

Here is the full version of the poem I wrote for Jackson on the homepage.

I wish I could wear your eyes for a day.
Hear what is rattling around in your ears.
Know what is grabbing your thoughts.
Understand what makes you giggle, and why you’re crying.
Know pain unidentified.
Think thoughts inexpressible.
Have fears unrecognized.
Have needs and wants unverbalized and so often unmet.
Feel what it’s like to know but be unable to respond.
Desperately seek out a way to keep my world in balance.
Constantly fight for a place I can finally feel comfortable.

I wish I could get inside your skin
And understand what it’s like to be you.
But I can’t.

So for now
I just hold you tight.
Tell you I love you.
Take your hand and show you over and over and over.
Grandly applaud every appropriate response.
Loudly cheer every tiny victory.
Follow your lead.
Drop everything at the chance to engage you.
Become giddy over your every attempt to communicate.
Sing til my voice is gone if you’ll sing one word with me.
Dance til my body aches to hear you laugh again.
Live for the moments your eyes meet mine.
Do all that I can
Any time that I can
To make our two worlds to collide.
And I will never, ever stop.